June 23, 2014
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 (NLT)
Best Day Ever
It is funny how our perspective changes over the years…I remember measuring the quality of a day as early as elementary school. Most of the time, the value of the day was determined by certain criteria…the grades on papers returned, especially special projects, what lunch consisted of, how many times I was corrected by the teacher for talking too much, how much homework was assigned, and by the afternoon activities. (The dance lesson days were the best) Certainly, as life progressed the criteria became a bit more complicated. Days were measured by much more complex criteria.
After becoming a parent, depending on the age of our children, days were often measured by the success of the child’s day. A fussy, colicky, or teething baby determined what kind of day the young mother was having. I believe that it is true that if our children are ‘okay’, so are we moms! And if we are not careful, we can be tempted to measure our days and their value by the status of circumstances in our children’s life, not to mention our own circumstances. I have asked moms how they were doing, being truly interested in their lives and their immediate response to my question is to relate the latest saga of their children’s lives…And I totally get it! That’s what we mommas do…when our kid’s days are good…so are ours!
One of my favorite responses from young moms occurs when the last child is potty-trained and the mother announces it to whoever asks about her life. There is a new freedom as a family leaves behind diapers, wipes, pull-ups, and ‘Butt paste’! Many moms pronounce that “The Best Day Ever”! Then their new adventure begins of exploring every public restroom within a ten mile radius of where you are at the moment. (Highly likely with a little girl)
Our daughter wanted to explore every rest-room. I am convinced that she was trying to determine which businesses offered the newly found ‘adventure’. She was smart to figure out quite early that restaurants always offered the source of entertainment and she could access it upon demand… “Mommy, I need to go potty”, and in the early weeks, how would a mommy refuse the request? Christie would gloat as we left the table, always when the food had just arrived, and she would lead the way as she skipped to the destination. I am convinced that she was examining the décor of each restroom because that would become the conversation as she was trying to divert my attention that her request to go was just a clever ploy to wiggle, skip and to escape the confines of her booster seat! Our son however, was much more interested in the food at the table and would have to be torn away if the need arose! They regularly proclaimed that their days were, “The Best Day Ever!”
And how quickly all of those days pass as our young ones grow through the various stages as they bring their parents from exuberation, to distress, from laughter to tears, from frustration to fulfillment, from independence to total dependence on the Perfect Loving Father who is the only One with the answers to the really tough question, “How can I do this…How can I be a parent to this bundle of complexity and perplexity?” (Perhaps I am the only one who has felt this way…but just in case you have, you are not alone!)
The years and so many “Best Days Ever” passed quickly, and we suddenly found ourselves staring at the reality that our oldest would be moving out as a college freshman! The “Best Day Ever” moments when he made his decision to attend Baylor, suddenly paled in comparison to the “shock” of the new, unexplored territory in which we found ourselves.
I thought that I would find comfort in the fact that Adam was literally relocating to the other side of town and I was quite sure that we would continue our wonderful relationship of dinners at the round table and the week-end “hang-out” time. What I did not calculate was that when he signed on the dotted line to play college golf, his schedule suddenly belonged to Baylor University! Therefore, I welcomed any and all communication with our son, embracing the laundry assistance with the greatest enthusiasm…at least it was a connection! His spot at the round table was empty ninety percent of the time and the week-end hang time was very limited…but, we had the privilege of traveling to golf tournaments and watching our son play great golf…and ironically, sharing more meals on the road, than in our home…at least during the school year. And we survived…We still had one child with two years left of high school who suddenly relished being the “only” in her home…possessing all the territory!
The years and so many “Best Days Ever” passed quickly, and we suddenly found ourselves staring at the reality that our youngest child would be moving out as a college freshman! The “Best Day Ever” moments when she made her decision to attend Baylor, suddenly paled in comparison to the “shock” of the new, unexplored territory in which we found ourselves.
Bill and I received the invitation to an “Empty Nester” dinner in one of the local restaurants…We had just settled Christie into a duplex, literally a block from campus, certain that she would be safe and her location would offer her wonderful convenience. The familiar wave of panic came over me as we settled into bed on the first night of her absence from our home… I assure you that it was a challenging experience to have both of our children under a different roof other than that of our own home… I had to battle the waves of emotion which would flood over me, especially in the first few days. But, we agreed to attend the dinner, hoping to find solace and encouragement from other transitioning parents. We all did well and actually laughed through the evening with the exception of a mom who flanked the end of the long table…and I was shocked that she was struggling so…She cried for the entire evening…sobbed…and sobbed…and sobbed and it became the uncontrollable and gasping sobs! …I felt terrible for her… Even though her child was doing well and very happy, I am sure that her measure of her day was from a different set of criteria, based on her circumstances, and her own perspective…Certainly, hers was not “The Best Day Ever”!
As I watched this inconsolable mom, I temporarily found great comfort in the fact that both of our children were attending Baylor University, home of the Fighting Bears and we were all in the same city! However, I discovered quickly that the term, “The Baylor Bubble” was a code word which meant…same geographical location…totally different community! Suddenly, I was desperate to find those, “Best Day Ever” moments…
During our children’s high school years and eight years after their graduations, Bill and I were involved in Texas Christian Academy. He served on the Board of Directors and I taught high school classes and served as the Academic Advisor and Student Life Director. One of my favorite classes was twelfth grade Bible. About two weeks into the new school year, I was having a really low day…very unlike me…I seriously doubted that I had the energy, the ability, and the desire to go and teach the boy’s Bible class…I sat and watched the clock wondering how I could walk into the room and teach them about faith when I was feeling weak, discouraged and very empty-nested! I pulled myself and my lesson together and drove to the campus. I prayed…I practiced…I prayed some more as I drove the twenty-five minutes…and as I drove into the parking lot, my resolve diminished…and my strength and courage totally disappeared. I managed to walk through the front doors and found myself dashing to the faculty rest-room…Thoughts of Christie as a two-year-old visiting every rest-room in her new found maturity flooded my mind…and suddenly I found myself kneeling on the floor of that women’s restroom…crying and praying… “Lord, please help me to feel happy again. Help me to feel joy again…I feel like parts of my heart have been torn away…I love being a mom! Lord, help me to go and to be the teacher you need me to be…I have ten minutes to get it together…Lord this is Your class coming up. Help Me!” Amen.
Yes, I know what you are thinking; desperate people do desperate things….Why could I not have had this melt-down in my car instead of on the floor of a restroom, a restroom other than my own? But through my desperation, I know that God did three things that day. First, He showed me that the emptiness that I felt could be filled in a new way by continuing to invest and to pour myself into the students who were preparing to do the same thing that my children were doing. And I could invest in their parents who would soon be facing the same emotions which I was experiencing in my life…He whispered, “Pretend as though the students are your own…”
And the second thing He showed me on that day, in my moments of desperation, was that I had to look at the opportunity in the lives of my children as a flowing river, moving and filled with life…changing…and picking up and letting go…A river must flow in order to reach its destination; to dam it up, dries up the future…the destination…Aw yes, the river of life! I had forgotten!
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 (NLT)
The third and most important lesson He reminded me of was something that I already knew, you know it too.…I had chosen to allow anxious thoughts, thoughts of panic…thoughts of my own agenda- driven purpose to hijack the peace-filled confidence that we had learned to live by for our children’s secure future, in the Hands of their Loving Father. I was attempting to snatch my children out of His Hand, (not referring to their salvation) but the trusting and the yielding of their lives and their futures to the One who loved them and cared for them and planned for them in a far more perfect and excellent way than their father or I could possibly do.
And I let go that day, and I took the wisdom and advice of my Loving Heavenly Father and I let go of my agenda…not perfectly, but I was able to give my children back to God as young adults… (Incidentally we had to go through the same process when they each married…Hmmmmm, I think that I am seeing a pattern). Don’t we as parents have to continually do this? And I was able to enjoy many moments of investing in the lives of students and their parents…and I can say that those times were truly some of “The Best Days Ever!”
The Best Day Ever
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Since Bill and I have been parents and we have learned more than our children could possibly have learned, because parenting is the epitome of education… (they are learning this now as they parent)…I can see that what we felt compelled to tell our children, to teach them, to impart to them was the HOPE and the FUTURE that their Heavenly Father had for each one of them. We were able to observe the hope and sense of security that our children obtained from these Biblical precepts as they were taught at a Christ-proclaiming church and in our home, imperfect as our home was. When the world shouted that “You can’t, Your children can’t, You will fail…”, we learned that even though we were frail and weak, when we were equipped with God’s Truth, His Word, His Power, we became strong…we became empowered by the Great God Almighty.
And as parents, Bill and I anchored our lives into the promises of our faithful God…and by doing so…and because of this, each day, even the hard ones…the challenging ones…the painful ones…became stepping stones for us and for our children as we reached, together as a family, for the future and the hope that our great God had for us…for our children..Stepping stones…toward the future with God…allowing the river of life to flow…even when it meant them leaving home.
These are the Best Days!
I do not pretend to have known all of this at the time, but I promise that Bill and I felt compelled to keep on trusting God and His Ways and His Words…We had seen enough of His faithfulness in our years to believe Him…and, we made a concerted decision to not turn back…to not back-track on the stepping stones on which we traveled… And by His Grace…He covered us, He led us, He cleaned up our messes…and He put broken pieces back together…And because of these life time circumstances and of our experience with our Loving Heavenly Father, we could look and see that the river of life had to flow so that the future that God had for us and for our children could unfold in His perfect timing. If our children did not grow up…did not leave…how could they possess the territory and the future that God had ordained and appointed for them to live…
I know that we are on the stepping stones which God had set before us…Our children are on their path…perfectly ordained and appointed by our loving God…And Bill and I are stepping closer and closer to our destination…knowing that God is using every part of our journey…every part of our children’s journey…every part of our grand-children’s journey…to bring each one to the moment of truth, so that we, so that they can authentically, honestly say, “Best Day Ever!”
Yes, perspective is important! It comes with time, it comes with experience, it comes with tears, pain, laughter, it comes with life, it comes with God’s wisdom…And it is a continual process of revelation…instigated and inspired by the promise of our Loving Father…
“I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:4 (NLT)
Matthew Henry reminds us that the true God will never fail His worshippers and we need not worry or be anxious about our days and our years on this earth…He will carry us, His children, His worshippers…
It is funny how our perspective changes over the years. Now, as I sit with a different perspective than I had years ago, I think about what makes for a good day…
To wake up and to know that today is an unrepeatable gift from God!
To know that my husband and I, our children and their spouses are absolutely anchored, attached, fixed to the Living Yeshua Christ!
To know that their children, our grandchildren, are being reared in the absolute Truth of God’s Precepts and in His promise and His Hope for their lives, in their churches and in their homes!
To know that God is using each moment in my life, to move me on the path of stepping stones, allowing the river of my life to run…to rush…to trickle…to move… along the plan that He has ordained for my life…accomplishing what He purposes, as He permits circumstances and as He brings people into my life!
To know that this is true for my children’s lives…for your children’s lives…when our children trust God Almighty.
To know as I finish my work for the day, that my Loving, Faithful God promises to be my God for my lifetime…until I am old…until my time on this earth is completed…I am His and He will care for me…and when He needs to carry me, He will…and I know that He saves me today…It is complete for eternity…I know!
And I know that His promise is for my children, and their children, and for you and for yours…
How can I not say, “Best Day Ever?”
I pray for you if you are reading…I pray that you will anchor your life…your family…your home on the consistent, Truth of God’s Precepts! That you would teach and live by these precepts in your home, that you would commit to a local church and invest your family life in a church body. I pray that you would refuse to listen to any message of this world which might try to discourage you from God’s Ways and His Best for your lives…If you hear it shout or whisper, “You can’t”…just know that the LORD GOD CAN and HE WILL and He empowers you! And I pray for you and your family if you are transitioning with a child’s graduation from pre-school, kindergarten, eighth grade, or high school… Remember that our perspective changes as we move on the stepping stones which God has ordained for each one of us as we anchor, attach, fix our lives on and to Him…
Then, as we evaluate our day, our days, our weeks…we can honestly and authentically say that because we live and rest safely in the love of our Heavenly Father, that our lives are held in His Hands, that He filters everything…every circumstance…every moment…He pays such incredible attention to you…to your loved ones…to me…to my loved ones…then, then, we can honestly say…even when our nest appears to be empty, we know that God is moving us along, helping us to let go and helping us to pick up…helping us to transition…we can honestly say once again, “It’s the Best Day Ever!”
Abundant Joy,
