Family Time-The Promised Land
“I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses…Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:3, 9 NIV
Our Almighty God had a plan for Israel and He gave Joshua the responsibility to claim the territories which God had purposed for His chosen people, The Promised Land. He gave them instructions. He gave them promises…He promised His presence wherever they went…and He promised them victory as they trusted and obeyed Him…as they claimed and received the land of His promise… every place where they would set their feet…a land of milk and honey, ”a place of rest.” He would never leave them or forsake them…He would be with them everywhere they went…Almighty God instructed them to be strong…to be courageous…and careful to obey His Law…careful not to turn to the left or the right, instead, to trust Him…to follow Him…to obey Him…and then, they would be prosperous and successful…in their Promised Land!
Territories and Assignments…
There is no doubt that our faithful God assigns us territories in this life…As God fearfully and wonderfully knows, and forms each person, He does so with a plan…with a future…with a promise…And He in His great wisdom and Divine Being establishes and ordains territories for each one of His human creations. He gives territories in business…in social circles and friendships…in families…in relationships as husband and wife…as parents to our very own children…all ages…all stages…all seasons…Territories for us to do His Kingdom work…and Yikes! Summer time too! He is sovereign…He so reigns over all…
Family—Your Promised Land
I love the historical account of Joshua and the Israelites and the amazing wisdom and hope contained in this story. I have been saying for twenty years now that “I am in the Promised Land” and I started the dialogue when I turned 40…but now proclaim it at 60. As I thought about why I say this, I began to think about God’s promises…about God’s faithfulness…about what His greatest gifts are to me. First, is the gift of our Savior, the Son of God and the forgiveness and salvation enveloped within my relationship with Him…But, His second most beautiful and profound gift has been the gift of my husband…and then the gifts of my two beautiful children…and now, the gifts of five beautiful grand-children and one more due any day…The gift of Family…yes…that’s it…and, He has given to me a Family of Faith…of people, of friends, who love God…The relationship with Yeshua Christ and this territory of Family is my Promised Land…
My Promised Land
I don’t know about you, but I seemed to run out of groceries most frequently in the summer. I think because our schedules and routines were totally changed and my “normal” grocery day was non-existent…Not only did I run out of milk and honey, but peanut butter, pickles, popsicles, popcorn, cereal, cookies, candy, and fruit snacks…and toilet paper! In reality, these were some of my minor challenges!
The Israelites had some major challenges and some disasters as they made their claim to God’s promises…they faced threatening enemies and distractions… they made some poor choices…and had some major mess-ups…called disobedience…but, they experienced the faithfulness, the power, the love, the promise, of the One True God.
And this is a good description of what happened in our family, through the years as we set out to claim the territory of our Family…the Family which God had given to us as an assignment…the territory of people, with whom He intended for us to “intimately do Life with”! It wasn’t always pretty…in fact, sometimes it was just a mess! We had distractions along the way…and ran into circumstances which were clearly seen as “enemies” to our family… (of course we all experience this from time-to-time)…we made some poor choices and we made some wise decisions…we also had some disobedience going on at times…But we, like the Israelites, experienced the amazing mercy and grace of our God…the One with the instructions…the plan…and the Promise…
Family Time
Today, one of the greatest challenges for the family, (your assigned territory), is carving out the time and the opportunity for Family Time. In a recent survey, when asked what made young people the happiest, the number one answer by a huge margin was that these young people yearned for a connected relationship with their family. However, one child psychologist reported that the average parent spends about 38.5 minutes per week of meaningful conversation with each one of their children…
Years ago when my family faced the challenge that you face of protecting Family Time, I discovered through some calculations that my children spent approximately 1,260 hours in the classroom, per school year… not counting sports and extra-curricular activities…Times that by thirteen years, that calculates to be 16,380 hours in school. Wow…so many hours of their lives…And somewhere in there, we were determined to build in Family time! I am so thankful for Summer time…
We know that Family Time is one of the most important components for building relationships within the family, for staking claim to the precious wonderful territory which God has given to you. Family Time establishes, refreshes, and helps to maintain the connection between family members…that connection which children and young people report to be their number one source of happiness and comfort. As you are planning and creating schedules this summer, may I encourage you to keep these goals in mind.
Quality Family Time:
Helps the child to feel important and loved.
Allows the parent to model and to teach desired behaviors.
Gives the opportunity for the parent to observe strengths and weaknesses of the child.
Allows the child the opportunity to share his or her thoughts and feelings.
Provides opportunity for parent/child bonding with authentic experiences.
Claim Your Territory…Your Family!
I have a friend, Dawn Wible, who is starting a ministry to intentionally “connect” families…and one of her main concerns is the serious interference of the Tech world and its devastating effects on the relationships in families. Her ministry is called Talk More. Tech Less. (TalkMoreTechLess.com) Dawn shares valuable information concerning the voids which are being created in the life of the family when the Tech time is not managed appropriately. She highly recommends that Family Time contain “Talk time”. Check out more info here!
Defend Your Territory…Your Family
Just as Joshua and the Israelites had to battle and to defend their claim of their Promised Land, I believe that we as parents and as grandparents must also defend our claim to our families and to the wonderful resource of Family Time which, as we know, is one of the major components of the healthy and prosperous relationships with our children. Unlike the enemies so many years ago, some distractions within our society can certainly be beneficial activities (tech time, entertainment, recreation, work and business, social life). However, if these good things are not managed in healthy and family friendly ways, they can become enemies to our Family Time…to our families. Yes, the challenge, the instruction of our almighty God is there…but so is the promise…and He reminds us…
“Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land…be careful to obey…Do not let the Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so you may be careful to do everything written in it. ” Joshua 1: 6, 7, 8
Family Time-Connection time
Connection time for each family will look different because each family is unique, created by God. Each assignment will look different for each person ordained by God. But ultimately, the goal is to provide connection opportunity…because that is what children need…what they want…Oh yes, I remember connection is what our Heavenly Father wants too…connection with His creation…with His people.
Our favorite and most successful Family Time activities were simple, stress-free, and age appropriate. Our son does not remember his ride on the Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland when he was ten months old. I enjoyed my experience from the pics that I see…but he does not remember. What he does remember are the times we would visit his grandparents and go to the lake to feed the ducks…Our children remember the camp-outs on our bedroom floor…the stories that we told them and the books we read that night…they remember the giggles and the games…
Quality Family time allowed us t o display our love through time and conversation. It allowed us to teach them, to correct them, to affirm them, to listen to them…to play with them, to laugh with them and to cry with them at times…Yes, I believe that it is called “Doing life together”.
I asked our grown children what they remembered and found to be “connecting times” in our family…
Our son, Adam, shared that for him, family vacations and trips were the best. It did not matter to him where we went…in fact, road trips were some of the best! He enjoyed the planning, the dinner-time table talk, the preparation of equipment for fishing, or golf, or scuba diving…He loved the travel, all the family in one vehicle…all heading the same direction…traveling and playing games…everyone “on the same page”. I think that he means “connecting”…
Christie shared that she loved the adventures when we would teach them new things…She clearly remembers the fishing trips with a picnic lunch and learning to bait a hook… (she would reach into the minnow bucket and give each tiny fish a kiss before placing it on the hook)…She loved to explore new places, loved the kitchen cooking time, hobbies and crafts…learning how to ride a horse and a four-wheeler…Bill was a doer and a teacher with our children and they loved it! Connection came through relationship.
Quality Family Time
Connection time for each family will look different because each family is unique, created by God. Each assignment will look different for each person ordained by God. But ultimately, the goal is to provide connection opportunity…because that is what children need…what they want…Every family has different dynamics, different schedules, different routines, by necessity, and by choice…and in their uniqueness, they make claim to their God-given territory, their Promised Land…
I love what our son-in-love Barry shared with me about his family. His parents, two working parents, were deeply committed to family and to connection…They stepped into and claimed their Promised Land through these wonderful Family Time memories. Although his parents were extremely involved in Barry and his brother’s extracurricular activities, this is what Barry highlights as his favorite Family Time.
Barry shared, “It was Sunday lunch! My mom would make a feast and we would gather at the table after church and discuss the sermon, talk and play dominoes, take naps, and watch sports. This kept our family connected through the different stages of life.”
Knowing Barry’s parents, I suspect that, whenever possible, this is where you would find the Johnson Family every Sunday…at every age and at every stage of their family life. This is where they connected…where relationships were built and maintained. Yes, they claimed, and nurtured, and nourished their Promised Land…Barry’s mom is now in her eternal Land of Promise…and Barry’s father continues his commitment to Family Time by sowing into his grandchildren…into his Promised Land…his God-given gift!
The Promised Land-Family
Bill and I learned that quality Family Time really is not as much about the activity or the plan that we made for the perfect “family day” (remember that unexpected things happen!) It is not about the perfect family photo op which might impress or create an illusion on social media…It’s not about comparing ourselves and our Family Time to other families…It is not about the destination for a family trip, or entertainment at all costs. Creating Quality Family Time should not cause stress by trying to do too much or be too elaborate. And it should not cause guilt over concern of not doing enough, or of not doing it correctly…
Quality Family Time is about doing what works for your family. It is about thanking God for the gifts and opportunities He has given to you and your family and then, using them wisely and prudently. It is about creating the experience and the opportunity to demonstrate love to your children, to teach your children desired behaviors, to observe your children’s strengths and their weaknesses so that you may teach them how to navigate through life, to allow them to share thoughts and feelings and for you as parents to listen intently. In the “Doing of life together”, you as a family, connect…as you claim and defend your Promised Land, your Family!
Our faithful loving God has given to each person assignments…He has given to each person a unique life…with unique relationships…with unique opportunities…He has given unique territory…He gives to us the Promised Land…
… “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15
My prayer is that you and your precious family truly enjoy your summer in your Promised Land, first, in relationship with your Lord, then, celebrating your Family…celebrating your Family Time…counting each blessing…each blessing of family and friends in the family of faith. And as you count your blessings and remember the great things that the Lord has done, that you clearly and earnestly express your love and your commitment to serve the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords…as you teach your children and lead them into a relationship and connection with the Father who yearns for connection with them. Oh yes, I remember connection is what our Heavenly Father wants too…connection with His creation…with His people, with His children.
Celebrate your faithful God who keeps His promises…who will never forsake you…who will be with you wherever you go in your parenting journey…who will give to you courage and strength to make claim on your territory…your precious family as together, you serve and love Him…as you serve and love one another.
Happy Family time!
Abundant joy,
Over the next few weeks we will be offering a Family Devotional with Activities for any age. We invite you to enjoy these devotions with your whole family…we invite you to enjoy them when you are alone with your Messiah. We hope to encourage you, to inspire you, to motivate you, and to empower you as you embrace the wonderful, crazy Summer Time opportunities for memorable and productive Family Time! We are cheering you on!
Print the coloring pages for your kids to color and then put them together to create a fun memory verse booklet!
